Caregiving can be one of the most meaningful journeys you’ll ever take. It can also be one of the loneliest.
Many caregivers hear the words, “Just ask for help.” But no one tells you who to ask, what to ask for, or where to begin.
That was the heart of our conversation with Dr. Sandra Ervin—educator, caregiver, founder of the H3 Caregivers Conference, and a passionate advocate for caregivers everywhere.
Her message was simple: You were never meant to do this alone.
Building Your Circle
Dr. Ervin has cared for her husband, her siblings, and now her mother living with dementia. Through each season, she learned that caregiving isn’t just about caring for one person. It’s also about building a community around yourself.
She shared a simple script that every caregiver can use:
“I’m a caregiver. If you know of a resource, a person, or anything that can help me be better at this, I’m open.”
Those few words have opened countless doors for her.
Sometimes the help you need isn’t far away. People simply don’t know what you need until you ask.
Let Go of Pride
One of the biggest barriers to receiving help is pride.
Many caregivers believe they have to do everything on their own. They don’t want others to think they’re struggling.
Dr. Ervin challenged that way of thinking.
She said when someone tells you, “You look tired,” don’t automatically reply, “I’m fine.”
Instead, try saying:
“Yes, I am tired. Could you stay with my loved one for 45 minutes so I can take a nap?”
That’s not weakness.
That’s wisdom.
Accept the Help People Can Give
Not everyone can help in the same way.
Some people can cook a meal.
Others can run errands.
Some can simply sit with your loved one while you catch your breath.
Dr. Ervin shared that she had to stop being disappointed by what people couldn’t do and begin appreciating what they could do.
When we accept help without expecting perfection, our circle becomes stronger.
Care for the Caregiver
One of the most powerful moments in the conversation came when Dr. Ervin spoke about herself.
She admitted she spent so much time caring for others that she forgot to care for herself.
Then one day, she realized something life-changing.
If something happened to her…
Who Would Care for Her Mother?
That realization changed everything.
She now reminds caregivers to make time—even a few minutes—for themselves every day.
Stretch.
Drink water.
Step outside.
Pray.
Laugh.
Rest.
Taking care of yourself doesn’t take away from your loved one.
It helps you care for them even better.
Start Every Day with Purpose
Before her day begins, Dr. Ervin spends a few quiet moments with God.
Then she asks one simple question:
“Who will I have the opportunity to bless today?”
What a beautiful way to begin each morning.
Caregiving is hard, but starting with gratitude, faith, or quiet reflection can help us face the day with renewed strength.
Community Changes Everything
One of the biggest lessons from this episode is that caregivers need more than information.
They need people.
People who understand.
People who encourage.
People who share resources.
People who remind them they’re not alone.
That’s what community does.
Whether it’s family, friends, neighbors, a church, a support group, or another caregiver, every connection makes the journey a little lighter.
Because caregiving was never meant to be a solo journey.
It was always meant to happen in a circle of care.
Reflection Question
What is one step you can take this week to strengthen your caregiving support circle?
We’d love to hear from you — please share your reflections with us in the comments below as you explore the grief, grit, and gift within your own caregiving journey.
Whether you are a caregiver or someone who loves one—you belong here.
Because none of us are meant to walk this journey alone.
Watch for the next episode on July 28 and companion blog on July 30.
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